[Part 5] Silent Tears and Bloody Fears
WARNING!! Violence... and stuff. Just warning you...
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So, he knew. Mike finally knew my secret, even though I didn't tell him in the way I wanted to. The wind seemed quieter, the world seemed deader, the forest felt as if it was closing in on me…. I thought there was supposed to be happiness and fireworks when someone declared their love for another. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. I've shed too many tears to give up, but then again, maybe I have cried too much that I need to give up.
I quietly walked to the swing set and slung my backpack over my back. I made my slow walk home, crying silently, eyes on the ground. When I got home, I ran to my room and slammed the door closed, putting on loud music to drown my thoughts. I laid on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I thought he was the one. I thought he would always be there for the rest of my life… I guess your life can never be planned out. So many detours, closed roads, traffic, and delays.
After a half hour or so, there was a knock on my door. I was surprised I heard it over the music that was blasting in my ears. I ignored it as I usually did. "Sera?" I couldn’t tell who the speaker was over the music, so I just laid there, not caring about anything. "Sera, I’m coming in, so I hope you’re decent." I'm never "decent"… I heard the knob jiggle. "The fuck, Sera?" I locked the door, which I barely ever do.
I sat up, sighing, and reached over to my nightstand where a pocket knife could be found. I grasped it tight in my shaky hands, tears silently flowing. I rolled up the sleeve of my hoodie, which I hadn't taken off yet, and looked at the pale skin underneath it. It showed scars of my other life events. I opened the pocket knife to expose the sharp knife that saved my life so many times. "Sera!! Open the fucking door!" I got off of my bed and changed the song on the stereo, knowing now the person on the other side of the door was Mike. I didn't care.
–"Please, please forgive me. But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll have woke up, and barely conscious, you'll say to no one: 'Isn't something missing?' You won’t cry for my absence, I know- you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?..."-
"Holy fuck, Sera!! I know this is your suicidal song!" Mike said, banging on the door with his fists.
I sat on my bed, still grasping the knife, singing along with Amy Lee, as tears still slid down my cheeks. I took my pocket knife and slowly put the edge to my exposed wrist. I put more force on it and I felt a shot of pain. Blood was staining the knife as it escaped my wound. It felt good and took my pain away. The red blood mixed with fallen tears slid off my wrist, forever staining my bed. I never cut in this deep before. Mike was still hitting on the door as I grew light-headed.
Mike finally burst the door open as "Missing" was ending. Who knows how he got in, I didn't care. I was as good as dead anyway. "Sera!" Mike yelled as I blacked out, his voice echoing in my mind.
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
Wow, I never realized how short that was ^_^. Yes, I know I'm evil *big grin*. Oh, and for those of you who DON'T know, Sera is NOT dead!
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
So, he knew. Mike finally knew my secret, even though I didn't tell him in the way I wanted to. The wind seemed quieter, the world seemed deader, the forest felt as if it was closing in on me…. I thought there was supposed to be happiness and fireworks when someone declared their love for another. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. I've shed too many tears to give up, but then again, maybe I have cried too much that I need to give up.
I quietly walked to the swing set and slung my backpack over my back. I made my slow walk home, crying silently, eyes on the ground. When I got home, I ran to my room and slammed the door closed, putting on loud music to drown my thoughts. I laid on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I thought he was the one. I thought he would always be there for the rest of my life… I guess your life can never be planned out. So many detours, closed roads, traffic, and delays.
After a half hour or so, there was a knock on my door. I was surprised I heard it over the music that was blasting in my ears. I ignored it as I usually did. "Sera?" I couldn’t tell who the speaker was over the music, so I just laid there, not caring about anything. "Sera, I’m coming in, so I hope you’re decent." I'm never "decent"… I heard the knob jiggle. "The fuck, Sera?" I locked the door, which I barely ever do.
I sat up, sighing, and reached over to my nightstand where a pocket knife could be found. I grasped it tight in my shaky hands, tears silently flowing. I rolled up the sleeve of my hoodie, which I hadn't taken off yet, and looked at the pale skin underneath it. It showed scars of my other life events. I opened the pocket knife to expose the sharp knife that saved my life so many times. "Sera!! Open the fucking door!" I got off of my bed and changed the song on the stereo, knowing now the person on the other side of the door was Mike. I didn't care.
–"Please, please forgive me. But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll have woke up, and barely conscious, you'll say to no one: 'Isn't something missing?' You won’t cry for my absence, I know- you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?..."-
"Holy fuck, Sera!! I know this is your suicidal song!" Mike said, banging on the door with his fists.
I sat on my bed, still grasping the knife, singing along with Amy Lee, as tears still slid down my cheeks. I took my pocket knife and slowly put the edge to my exposed wrist. I put more force on it and I felt a shot of pain. Blood was staining the knife as it escaped my wound. It felt good and took my pain away. The red blood mixed with fallen tears slid off my wrist, forever staining my bed. I never cut in this deep before. Mike was still hitting on the door as I grew light-headed.
Mike finally burst the door open as "Missing" was ending. Who knows how he got in, I didn't care. I was as good as dead anyway. "Sera!" Mike yelled as I blacked out, his voice echoing in my mind.
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
Wow, I never realized how short that was ^_^. Yes, I know I'm evil *big grin*. Oh, and for those of you who DON'T know, Sera is NOT dead!
posted by Megan at 3:55 PM
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